Nothing like an "I coulda died" experience to shake things up.
I've been wrestling with this one for some time too. Always sort of vacillating between the poles of surrender and control. But, you're completely right... every time I've forced things it just ends up as a messy lesson I really wish I didn't need to learn. I'd add to your 2019 excerpt that the way I've been able to take back a bit of agency so as not to get depressed is to refocus on being prepared for whatever opportunity will hopefully arise in the future. That usually looks like doing stuff that lights me up but also nurtures some sort of purpose. In any case, it is a challenging practice to let go. Wishing you soothed nerves and gentle perseverance.
Not long ago I endured a situation that I never imagined I would find myself in, much less at 50 years old. My life was in true peril...yet I could only focus on how it was going to affect my two young children who are still reeling from the loss of their older sister, my oldest daughter. I cannot say I was "praying" to live, but what I was doing was everything in my power to not succumb to the force that wished to end me.
It was an experience that reshaped my worldview and brain.
Powerlessness… I’m still trying to decide if letting go comes with age, wisdom or working on one’s self. Maybe a little bit of all of the above. I have learned one tough lesson after another these past couple of years and not one has come with a completion certificate. What I have discovered though is that choosing to be authentic and travel down a path less traveled is worth a few bumps and bruises ( not to mention the kind of exhaustion that may only be remedied by mainlining caffeine) . It’s been said that theres no reward without risk. And sometimes both are staring at a sleeping child in the safety of your own home. Thank you for always keeping it real and sharing the lessons. I’m happy you made it home safely and no doubt with plenty to write about later! Here’s hoping the biggest risk you take today is whether or not you wake your little boy by giving him a hug.
You need to let me take you on a stranger danger trip to Ireland, nothing like being in the backroads of Ireland to set one back on course plus it refills the magic tank when one is depleted.
Nothing like playing Russian Roulette with our own life to remind us how it can all end so quickly even when you're a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie like me! Glad you made it out safe.
Life is mostly luck & chance. No one really wants to admit it but once we understand & accept how little control we really have, life becomes so much simpler. Learning to sit with uncertainty is the real key.
Nothing more life affirming than wondering if you'll live through the next few minutes. Though these days I wouldn't recommend as a planned destination. That'd be the 'forcing the issue' outlook. Nothing wrong with being prepared for the worst IMO.
My mind immediately went to Lake or Humboldt Counties, but that would be coloring it with my own experience.
One useful attitude I've adopted is to just become, not unrelenting, but maybe unlovable from my position. Not in a threatening or blustering way. Just the clear message that whatever the position is, it won't change no matter how worked up opposition gets. That's caused a lot less rapid heartbeats and more positive outcomes than the way I used to do things.
Glad it worked out for you even if you didn't get what you came for, you came away with something.
Nothing like an "I coulda died" experience to shake things up.
I've been wrestling with this one for some time too. Always sort of vacillating between the poles of surrender and control. But, you're completely right... every time I've forced things it just ends up as a messy lesson I really wish I didn't need to learn. I'd add to your 2019 excerpt that the way I've been able to take back a bit of agency so as not to get depressed is to refocus on being prepared for whatever opportunity will hopefully arise in the future. That usually looks like doing stuff that lights me up but also nurtures some sort of purpose. In any case, it is a challenging practice to let go. Wishing you soothed nerves and gentle perseverance.
Not long ago I endured a situation that I never imagined I would find myself in, much less at 50 years old. My life was in true peril...yet I could only focus on how it was going to affect my two young children who are still reeling from the loss of their older sister, my oldest daughter. I cannot say I was "praying" to live, but what I was doing was everything in my power to not succumb to the force that wished to end me.
It was an experience that reshaped my worldview and brain.
I am grateful you too remain...
Glad you made it home to tell the tale, and be close to your babe again. Letting go is definitely the key to this life, isn’t it?
It absolutely is, and that's why it's so damn hard to do sometimes.
Powerlessness… I’m still trying to decide if letting go comes with age, wisdom or working on one’s self. Maybe a little bit of all of the above. I have learned one tough lesson after another these past couple of years and not one has come with a completion certificate. What I have discovered though is that choosing to be authentic and travel down a path less traveled is worth a few bumps and bruises ( not to mention the kind of exhaustion that may only be remedied by mainlining caffeine) . It’s been said that theres no reward without risk. And sometimes both are staring at a sleeping child in the safety of your own home. Thank you for always keeping it real and sharing the lessons. I’m happy you made it home safely and no doubt with plenty to write about later! Here’s hoping the biggest risk you take today is whether or not you wake your little boy by giving him a hug.
You need to let me take you on a stranger danger trip to Ireland, nothing like being in the backroads of Ireland to set one back on course plus it refills the magic tank when one is depleted.
Nothing like playing Russian Roulette with our own life to remind us how it can all end so quickly even when you're a thrill seeking adrenaline junkie like me! Glad you made it out safe.
Life is mostly luck & chance. No one really wants to admit it but once we understand & accept how little control we really have, life becomes so much simpler. Learning to sit with uncertainty is the real key.
“Forcing the individuals to give us what we had come for” … curiosity piqued.
I’m glad you made it out of there unscathed.
Oh, Kyle, thank you. That was a perfectly timed read that has helped me this morning more than you can imagine. Thank you.
🫶
Nothing more life affirming than wondering if you'll live through the next few minutes. Though these days I wouldn't recommend as a planned destination. That'd be the 'forcing the issue' outlook. Nothing wrong with being prepared for the worst IMO.
My mind immediately went to Lake or Humboldt Counties, but that would be coloring it with my own experience.
One useful attitude I've adopted is to just become, not unrelenting, but maybe unlovable from my position. Not in a threatening or blustering way. Just the clear message that whatever the position is, it won't change no matter how worked up opposition gets. That's caused a lot less rapid heartbeats and more positive outcomes than the way I used to do things.
Glad it worked out for you even if you didn't get what you came for, you came away with something.
Happy you’re safe! Love the letting go theory, you cannot control everything….makes for more angst in your life
Thank you. And, I don't think it's a "theory" -- it's reality.